Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
