im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize