This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
