I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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