k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
