Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
