The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
