i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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