I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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