Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
