Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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