cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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