no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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