i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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