All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
