But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's Friday. Sex?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
