are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
