The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and she was petting her beer can
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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