you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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