I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
