just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
