i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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