i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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