I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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