i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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