Are we in a gay sports bar?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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