If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
