I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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