i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
someone owes me an orgasm
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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