I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
