Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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