I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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