I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
