I hate all girls vehemently.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
