So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
