He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
