I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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