i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
