It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
