All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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