I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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