so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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