he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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