Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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