just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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