im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
