i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize