(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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