That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
