By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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