She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
