I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
