Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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