i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
