So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
try to milk me bitch
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