i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize