the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize