Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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