Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
