If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
my poor anus
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
