Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
