Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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