If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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