Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
