This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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