His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
