I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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